Adoption - What Parents Must Know

Adoption is a complex process. It is one of the most challenging as well as the most rewarding decisions in life. A lot of research is necessary before making the final decision. Jillian Lauren, an American writer and a mother to two adopted sons states that, "Adoption is complicated, but it is also rich with narratives of strength.” It is better to prepare yourself mentally, physically and financially as it can be overwhelming and stressful. 

       Here in this article we will help you breakdown list of things you might want to know before and after the adoption process that might help you live your “Happily Ever After Family” life.

Different types of adoption

Adoption is a process where children who cannot be raised by their biological parents are taken by another family with full and legal rights. Eric Tatum, a lawyer states that the adoption can take place in several ways including :

• Closed adoption: In this type of adoption, there is no communication between the adoptive parents and the biological parents. 
• Semi open adoption: where the birth parents have limited contact with the adopted family.
• Open adoption :  The adoptive parents and the biological parents of the child stays in touch during and after the process of adoption.
• Domestic infant adoption : In such cases, the newborn child is given away to the adoptive parents right after birth
• International adoption : in this case the child is adopted by parents from a different country than the birth parents 

There are various processes involved with the adoption process based on the expectations of the prospective adoptive family. The idea of adopting a child, especially in India, has faced societal disapproval in the past. But as time evolved, a change of perception has also changed reflecting a positive cultural shift.

Why do people opt for adoption?

Choosing to expand one's family through adoption is an inherently personal decision. Every potential adoptive family approaches the adoption process with a distinct set of circumstances influencing their choice to adopt. Although the motivations for adoption are diverse and numerous, we outline below some of the most prevalent situations that lead individuals or couples to embark on the adoption journey: 

1. Infertility: Struggles with infertility and potential pregnancy complications are the most common reasons people choose to adopt. According to the CDC, 9% of men and 11% of women of child-bearing age experience difficulties in conceiving a child.Studies show that one out of eight Americans are given a diagnosis of infertility. No matter how progressive we are as a society, he has a long way to go in improving how we handle infertility.
   
   
2. Philanthropy: many people opt for adoption because they want to help others and bring a change in the system. They want to help in the healing process of children with troubled past. 
   
   
3. Single parenting: Many people adopt with the intention of single parenting. Aditya Tiwari, the youngest single father in India, adopted Avnish, who has been diagnosed with Down Syndrome.
   
   
4. Social responsibility: Many people view adoption as a “call” for social need. They prefer to adopt a child in order to fulfill their responsibility as a human. There are many children out there who have no one to look after them. By adopting those children they are provided with the opportunity to belong to a family.
   
   
5. Child in need of a family: Sometimes people adopt children who are known to them for example the child may be a distant relative, a family friend, or someone you know. They may volunteer to provide the child with a family and a home.

“Belonging to a family is a natural and vital component of life, and every child deserves to be a member of a loving and nurturing family.”- Ronald Reagan

Tips for Parents Before Beginning your Adoption Journey

 As you begin to explore the world of adoption, you need to prepare and educate yourself as much as possible to make the process more effective. “If you have a heart for adoption, don’t let fear stand in the way” says Doug Chapman


1. How to Adopt a Child?

The requirements may vary depending on various factors. The parents planning for adoption must meet the requirements of the adoption agency to legally adopt the child. Discuss every aspect of the adoption process with the agency and gather all the necessary information. Transparency and clear communication is necessary before taking the final decision.

The former Miss Universe, Sushmita Sen, who is a mother of two beautiful adopted daughters states that, “I adopted my first daughter Renee, when I was 24. At that time, they did not accept young single mothers. There were many documentation processes involved. I had to submit about 26 documents in the high court. Along with it, my father had to sign off more than half of his total worth to show intent. But for my second daughter, it was much easier comparatively”

2. What is the cost of adoption?

The cost of adoption may vary depending on the process and the agency the adoptive parents choose. The adoptive parents must also prepare themselves financially to meet all the requirements of the child. Usually in India, the adoptive parents have to pay one thousand Rupees to register themselves into the adoption portal. After getting registered, they are required to pay around five thousand rupees for the HOME STUDY visit and around forty thousand to the agency during the entire process. So the total cost in India stands at around fifty thousand rupees.

3. How long does the process take?    

This is a long process and the parents have to prepare themselves accordingly. At American Adoptions,75 percent of the adoptive families complete their adoption process within one to twelve months depending on their requirements. The process begins after the adoptive parents application process gets approved under the government norms. Mandira Bedi, a renown bollywood actress states that “The adoption process is quick if you are childless. But for someone who already has a biological child, it may take up to 3-5 years.”

4. Where to adopt a child from?

You can get help from any NGO registered with CARA who can help you guide through the process. They will also provide you with all the necessary details to keep in mind. When selecting an adoption agency, make sure to ask a lot of questions related to the health, background and every necessary information about the child. The adoption agency must provide you with the resources and information required to make important choices. Do not settle for anything less no matter what.

5. How to look for a child to adopt?

When adopting through an agency,there are various factors to keep in mind. It is important to note that all adoption agencies will not give you the same level of support and assistance. While selecting adoption agencies, you should look for  agencies that are licensed and will support you through every step of the process. You should also talk to parents who have opted for the agency to know their experience with them.

Criterions for adopting a child in India

• The adoptive parents should be physically, mentally and emotionally stable
• They should be financially capable and motivated to adopt a child
• The parents should not have any life threatening medical condition.
• Irrespective of the marital status,a parent can opt for adopting a child.
• A Single female can adopt a child of any gender
• A Single male person is not be eligible to adopt a girl child
• In case of a married couple,the consent of both the spouses for the adoption are required.
• Except in the cases of relative or step-parent adoption, adoption to a couple is not granted unless they have at least two years of stable marital relationship 

Challenges during and after adoption

• Separation Anxiety: Most adopted children may experience some feelings of grief and loss related to their adoption. This happens due to the loss of their birth parents as well as siblings, grandparents and friends as well. Children who were adopted later in life may grieve the loss of foster families, friends, schools or neighborhoods
• Identity Crisis: Adoption can severely impact the identity formation process of children,especially as adolescents. Some children may view themselves as different, unwelcome or rejected  or  may struggle to fit in with their families. They may elevate further if the children are from different heritage from their adoptive families. They may lead to lower self esteem in such children.
• Attachment related complications: children who come from an abusive environment may find it difficult to emotionally attach with the new family. In such cases, the new family may have to may special attention to provide the child with sense of security 
• Post adoption issues: These include various problems such as difficulty in expressing, lack of understanding, miscommunication etc. The parents have to pay special attention in handling such situations and providing the child with a safer environment 

Adoption is a win-win situation for both the child and the adoptive parent. Being Considerate and respectful is of utmost importance. It is also important that you and the birth parents are honest with each other. Both the adoptive parents and biological parents are likely to undergo various forms of stress and concerns. A productive communication can help you both arrive at a happy and healthy relationship and raise the child in a healthy environment. Be sure you are prepared before you take the next step.